There were many social media celebrities spawned out of Hurricane’s Harvey and Irma. Intense situations bring out extreme feels in humanity. Some people write checks to their local not for profit, some make posts about leaving the bathroom door open to let the wind through and some, some guys are just trying to get a little affection.
Enter Jilted in Jacksonville.
This Craigslist ad offers a place to ride out the storm in Jacksonville for the right woman or women. It is succinct and to the point yet for some reason, women started losing their mind.
Before I go any further, allow me to explain myself. I am a feminist. But I am a feminist that is also a bit of a butch lesbian. I have a male energy about me, and I get the privilege of watching football with the dudes and talking about boobs and ALSO I get to sit in on/participate in period bitching with the ladies. Lesbians, the swiss army knife of humans.
In short, I don’t sleep with dudes, but many of them are my friends and I often see situations where being the white dude in the situation is the only thing the poor schmuck has done wrong.
So. in the name of humanity and moving our society forward in a healing direction, I would like to break down for you exactly why this guy is feminism in action and if you are a woman who is offended by this ad, you aren’t a feminist, you are spoiled. I also know this means my feminist friends will tell me why I’m wrong. Balance, amirite?
The title of the post is “do you need a place to ride out the storm” He didn’t even put “ride” in quotation marks, italicize it or add a creepy, winky emoji
He states his status as single, and requests that you be single. He respects boundaries and parameters, y’all.
HERicane. HERicane. HERicane. Smooth, man. Real smooth.
He clarifies that he lives alone, even though he doesn’t have to, cause let’s be honest, if you have time for this post we know you don’t have many distractions.*Here he secretly sent a message to single straight women that he knows how to do his own laundry. I realize these heteronormative tells might not be easy to detect for my queer lefty family, but this is a catch in their world, trust me.*
He hates to sleep alone. VULNERABILITY. Isn’t this what we have been asking from our men? If we really want to CoExist, don’t we need to stretch beyond ourselves and see where this guy is coming from. He has a need, he is clearly trying to communicate it. And he said cuddling is more fun, not “imma stick it in ya”
He is clear and direct about his relationship to substances. Ever think you’re about to have a great camping weekend only to realize your camping buddy is gonna be drunk the whole time? This guy just wants to smoke a joint, cuddle and watch the storm blow in maaaaaaaaan and he is respectful enough to tell you it might smell like weed in his house. The house he is offering as shelter to you. Fucking. Gentleman.
He indicates a clean home ( another secret message to the single older women that he doesn’t need a mama) This dude has game you guys.
He objectifies himself. He’s 5’8, 160 lbs, blue eyes. He includes a photo of his face, well lit, with no attempts to disguise his gold chain. This is him, and he is open for business, ladies.
“I’ve always wanted to be with two ladies lol so we can work something out” he literally just said, hey, if you feel uncomfortable alone and have a friend who also lives in a flood zone, bring them along! Or maybe that was a secret nod to the lesbians? Maybe a once in a lifetime flood is a great time to go for that threesome. I mean YOLO, right? Either way, he is clear about what he likes and even had a nervous “lol”. That's downright endearing.
You must respond with picture and TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DO OR ARE LOOKING FOR. Once again, he is communicative, sets his own boundaries and asks what yours are. He shames no one, has room to spare and would rather spend it cuddling than talking football. Winner.
I tried to find the post to respond to him, but it had already been removed. It started popping up all over my news feed yesterday so the poor guy probably started to get mean emails about how he felt entitled to women’s bodies. Eye. Roll.
Here’s the thing. Riding out a hurricane can take weeks if power is lost. This man offered shelter and that also likely means water and food that could be his if this turned into a real life or death situation. We are talking about Florida. It will be 100 degrees for days on end post storm. If you don’t have electricity, you’re definitely going to need water. He does NOT have to offer shelter to a stranger and if he wants to set some parameters for his home, so be it . A woman might've emailed him and said " I don't fuck until month three" and maybe they played scrabble by candlelight and are in love now.
My point? Let’s stop shaming humans for being, human. If this guy’s post read “suck my cock, save your life” then yes, by all means we should storm in tampons blazing and burn the fucker down. But, it didn’t. It was honest, open and vulnerable, the one thing we’ve been telling our men to be. Maybe don’t shit all over it next time?
PS. the least feminist thing to do is to rant online about how some other woman shouldn’t be interested in this. Hericane man might be her fucking jam. Mind your business.